2013. One minute here, the next gone. This year has both flown and taken forever, depending on the moment or milestone or how many times Pip woke up during the night. But at least I sort of knew it was going to be like this going in, and for the most part, I feel like I’ve been able to take things in stride. A clumsy, tripping-over-blocks, sore-knees, lumbering sort of stride, but a stride nonetheless.

2008: The Year Everything Fell Apart
2009: The Year I Put Everything Back Together
2010: The Year I Became Me (aka The Year of Awesome)
2011: The Year of the Roller Coaster
2012: The Year That Threw Me for a Loop

And so 2013 joins the ranks as

2013: The Year of Constant Evolution

My word for the year was “EVOLVE,” and that proved to be right on target.

Looking Back at 2013

I’ve survived almost 10 months of motherhood, and I’m happy to say I still love my life, even if it looks quite different than it did a year ago. In the interest of pure honesty, there are of course plenty of aspects I didn’t/don’t love.

The Lowlights

Pip not sleeping through the night from 3.5 to 9ish months
Post-partum depression
The hopefully somewhat temporary (let me have my dreams, OK?) disappearance of spontaneity from our lives
Buying diapers
Constant spinal misalignment due to lugging infant carrier/breast pump/baby/all the baby’s stuff everywhere
Pumping
Getting up at 4 a.m. on weekdays to pump (which I am thankfully not doing anymore, though still getting up at 4 a.m.)
Missing out on 9 hours a day with my family to earn a paycheck that doesn’t come from writing or writing-related things
Carrying around 15 extra pounds because the “breastfeeding makes you lose ALL THE WEIGHT” promise is a terrible, terrible lie
Not writing (or even rewriting) a single screenplay
Pip not sleeping through the night form 3.5 to 9ish months

Yes, I put that one on their twice on purpose. But I digress.

The truth is, between my truly amazing co-parent and my always-willing-to-babysit family, I am very, very, very lucky. And even though this year was extremely difficult in some ways, it was also extremely awesome.

The Highlights

Managed (barely) a drug-free childbirth
Made it through post-partum depression
Took 7 trips
- Family vacation to Tampa
- Day trip to Joplin
- Overnight Getaway to Kansas City proper (our first night without Pipsqueak, so it counts as a trip)
- Weekend trip to Springfield, Mo. (which we now believe is a terrible place, except for they have the Best Cookie Ever at the big huge Bass Pro place there)
- Road trip to Plymouth, Wisconsin, to see T’s family
- Weekend getaway to Branson, Mo.
- Family vacation to Disney World
Wrote 17 short stories (this one was my favorite)
Finished my short film, STILL, and began submitting to festivals
“Won” my 9th NaNoWriMo
Read 17 books that weren’t kid books plus a bunch that are kids books so technically exceeded my goal of 24 books DON’T JUDGE ME
Saw somewhere around 50 films (way less than a typical year, but still close to one a week on average, plus doesn’t count all the Chuck/Dexter [no spoilers; I'm only on season 5]/Orange is the New Black/Game of Thrones/Breaking Bad/House of Cards/Parenthood/Derek/Doctor Who I watched)
Picked up four new freelance clients (Need editing, writing, document/ebook formatting or blogging? Check me out.)
Wrote 35 posts for my freelance blog before motherhood took over my life
Wrote more than 75 freelance blog posts for clients
Wrote 11 posts here on this blog
Lost all but 15 pounds of the 70 or so I gained (granted 29 of those were shed in the first week after, BUT STILL)
Ran the Thanksgiving 5K for the 4th year in a row with my sisters + T + his mom & brother
Did two art projects toward the end of the eyar
Took a bunch of photos and even put some up for sale

Click to view slideshow.

Looking Forward to 2014

2014: CORE

“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.” – The Rev. Basil King

I thought about using the word “center,” but that sounds a little too peaceful. I want to get a little nuts.

For a few months after Pip was born, if I’m being totally honest, life was about survival: making sure I was surviving, making sure T was surviving, and — above all — making sure this tiny little quasi-human we’d brought into this world was surviving and thriving. While some days (and weeks) still feel that way, I feel like we’ve found a groove more or less. It’s sort of like a river, “always changing, always flowing” (yes, quoting Pocahontas because I am a total nerd). But it’s generally in about the same place at least.

So, if 2013 was all about preserving (and regaining and redefining) sanity, then in 2014 I want to get a little nuts again. I want to challenge myself to get back to the core of who I am — and I’ve long professed that the core of who I am is a writer, a creator, an artist. And while my output in 2013 wasn’t completely terrible, it was nowhere near, say, 2009-2011. And that’s OK. But I need to get back to it, because that’s who I am.